*subject line shamelessly stolen from the fabulous madknits
so, i've got a bunch o' crap rolling around in my head. and it's the middle of the night and i can't sleep. so i'm writing it all down, hopefully exhausting myself, and trying the sleep thing again soon as i'm done with this.
cold sucks. don't believe me? i'll 'splain it. cold, as an objective thing, does not exist. neither does darkness or evil, for that matter. all of these things that we talk about as though they are real things are merely shortcuts to describe the absence of some other thing that does exist. cold is the absence of heat, dark the absence of light, evil the absence of good, etc. nature abhors a vacuum, tries to fill it. so "cold" is a heat vacuum. cold tries to resolve its lack by pulling heat from nearby sources, ergo sucking. cold seems to most enjoy sucking the heat from my feet. the only times my feet have been warm in the past two weeks are when i'm standing in the shower. yes, i'm familiar with socks and shoes. no, they don't help. cold sucks right through them. it even sucks through two pairs of socks and thick-soled, stompy, biker-dyke boots.
therefore, this impending fucking blizzard? the, like, THIRD ONE THIS YEAR in dallas? it can suck my left toe. if our next winter involves this much snow, i'm learning motherfucking spanish and moving to cozumel. swear.
my niece has been officially and clinically diagnosed with mitochondrial disease. that pretty much sucks, but it's not a huge surprise at this point since it's been the presumed diagnosis for most of the past year. the doc is officially going to start seeing my other two nieces, as well. this doctor has some great success stories, but i don't know whether those are a result of the care and treatment from the doc or whether those are just dumb mitosis luck. i'm hoping to get to ask my sister a bunch of questions about it this weekend at a family wedding.
my youngest godson, age 5, was walking through the grocery store with his mom today talking about groceries and dinner and domestic crap like that. he looked around and said, "godmommy thesilia** is married to a girl!" and then carried on with the rest of the conversation. no idea what sparked that particular realization at that particular moment, and his mom said she couldn't see his face because he was looking off at something, so she doesn't even really know if he looked surprised or shocked or what. this makes me laugh, A LOT. little tyke was at my freakin' wedding reception. though, i guess four-year-olds probably don't take much notice of such things. still, it reminds me of one of those realizations of the stunningly obvious i had, somewhere along the way, that my parents HAD SEX. WITH EACH OTHER. THREE TIMES AT LEAST.
**not her real name
presently, i'm teaching a class for work. there are engineers... of a certain age, shall we say... who never did take any computer drafting classes. they never did any drawing on their computers. they've probably had AutoCAD or MicroStation on their computers for 25 years now, their IT staff faithfully upgrading them to the latest version every couple of years. but these engineers have never actually put mouse pointer to pixel to draw anything. they can sketch it on that green paper with the grid lines printed on the back. they send these to the CAD department, where some hard-working CAD monkey turns that sketch into a proper drawing, prints it, sends it upstairs, lets the engineer mark it up with a red pencil, waits for it to come back, revises it, and repeats that cycle until the project is due and it gets shipped out, flaws and all. my student in this class is one of those engineers. the first two exercises, damn my eyes, require the students to actually draw some stuff on the screen. it's about like drawing a tic-tac-toe board. this is not complicated. however, when you have stubbornly refused for 25 years to learn how to do any computer-based drawing AT ALL? when you are unfamiliar with the concept of click-and-drag? when you can't move dialog boxes around your screen because you can't figure out that you have to click on the little blue bar at the top to get them to move? these two simple exercises become torture. not for the student, who is oblivious to her inability, or who at least seems to have the good grace to be somewhat embarrassed by it and is trying to learn, but for ME. because i have spent the better part of the last two days, not discussing what you should do if you find that the net inflow to your wet well is positive when the pump is running (get a bigger pump), but that you should "click on that black blob there and hold your mouse button down. no, don't double-click on it. just click one time and keep the button held down. yes, now while holding the button down, move your mouse away to the west. no, that's north, move it to your left. yes, that's fine, now move it a little further and release the button. okay. great. now we can see that you have 8 extra points and 7 connecting lines here. they all need to be deleted. click on that first one. yes, now delete it. no, you used the undo button there. you need to press delete. so, first you need to find the redo button. yes, okay, now redo that action. yes, now go back and select that line. ok, you need to left-click on it, not right-click. good. now delete it. no, you undid it again. are you using the delete key? you should be using the delete key to delete things. Ctrl-Z is the undo command. ok. so, click on that line. yes, now press delete to delete it. right. now do that again for the remaining seven lines..."
rose had to sit me down in front of a DVD and pour scotch down my throat last night to turn me human. tonight, it was Freebird's. if it's actually a blizzard tomorrow, as predicted, i may go outside and go snowblind. when you find me, take me to the hospital, i authorize them to amputate my feet as i'm sure they'll be frostbitten beyond repair and gangrene will be setting in. if i'm clutching a wireless mouse in my hand and have the gnawed cord from my headset still in my teeth, try as gently as possible to save the mouse (it has a very nifty laser pointer you can play with!) but you can demolish the headset.